Well, after eating more than my share of “Extreme Moose Tracks” today, I decided it was high time for me to get my fanny in gear and do some exercise. I’ve gained some weight that truly needs to come off, and although I’ve lost a portion of it, I certainly don’t want it back on due to the “EMT.” I have plenty to lose, believe me, so I thought….”hmmm…everything else is online…surely there are exercise videos out there, too?” I had to look online because I’m nowhere near unpacking yet, and I still don’t have the TVs and VCR/DVDs hooked up, let alone the ability to find the exercise videos. So, I began a quest for some exercise to rid the many extra chins and the infinite number of love handles.

I found a neat website, slimtree.com, and there were actually numerous videos of various types of exercise. I did a few, starting off slow and only working about 12 minutes. One must work progressively when ending a relationship with the infamous “EMT,” after all. During my work out, I found that I was having a little difficulty, not b/c I was struggling, but due to several toes, tails and noses underneath my feet. Frustrated, I said “guys, you need to move.” My Hogan simply refused. I lost count of how many times I crushed his toes. Madison stood at a distance, confused, worried and wondering what her mother had smoked. On a real active set of 16, she ran. China sat and watched, mesmerized, and ended up doing her own sort of workout. She flopped on her back, wiggled around, and did a sort of “hop,” if you will, landing on top of Will. He felt this was a flirtatious way of playing and jumped right in. Of course this was after he’d bounced around the office w/me, completely oblivious to my “work” and thriving in the joy of “waggle time.” He bounced in beat to the music and wagged precisely at the correct time of my “twist.” We were as one. “Twist right, 2, 3, 4” … “waggle left, 6, 7, 8!!!”

Noelle just sighed and laid down, annoyed at the disruption of sleep. Layla rushed to my side, sensing a sort of seizure activity, while obediently putting her head next to me for a leaning post, and resting her solid body next to mine. She accepted the knocks on the head and the rump slammed up against her hips with dignity and devotion. Mother was obviously in a medical emergency, and she had to commit herself and assist. When I said “Layla, it’s okay, go lie down”…she quickly escaped. Hogan continued to lie there, unphased at the trampling of his ear.

Echo curled her little black body even tighter into a ball and pretended she wasn’t embarrassed.

Now they are all exhausted, either from trauma or humiliation…which I’m not sure. I do know, however, that I’ve received both frightened and annoyed looks, all in one. I suppose tomorrow, when I take it a step further, they might tackle me and hold me down in an attempt to end the misery.

If Tatonka were here, he’d undoubtedly look at me like this:

“Stupid humans….”