Well, I happened to hear about the “Mutt Madness” contest with Rachel Ray, and we obviously didn’t get chosen as a competitor…the list is up and we’re not on it, nor did we hear from them. A friend did get chosen, however, and I am very glad for her. I will give her my vote, for sure.

Deep down I knew we’d not be chosen. It wasn’t a negative attitude, but I know when it’s only one person doing the work, it’s simply not going to happen. Even if they’d of been impressed and wanted to choose Miss Alli’s, the rules stated that their phone calls would be made only a few times, and they would not leave messages. With only one person, one phone and no message left…there’s just no way. I tried to stick by the phone, just in case, but the reality is that it’d be hard to not miss the call…and that’s if they even considered us.

I’d be lying, however, if I said I wasn’t heartbroken. I know it certainly wasn’t intended as such, but it feels like another slap in the face. I feel like we can’t grow, and spinning our wheels proves to be taxing.

It’s been a difficult couple of weeks, and my mind has raced with various thoughts. I’m exhausted, and I’ve thought more than once, “I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this.” Not being able to keep up with the house chores gets depressing; Being afraid of an emergency is a heavy burden. Knowing that I’ve not made the best decisions has weighed heavy on me, and I can’t seem to catch up with all that I need to do. I’m scared daily about getting Preston’s heartworm treatment and the puppy’s spays. Selfishly, I get frustrated and want my house back…one that can stay clean for a little while and have furniture that’s not been chewed on or a floor that’s not had an accident…one where I can welcome guests again without embarrassment. Physically, I wish I had better health, esp being only 38, and wonder if I’ll ever feel normal again and not get worn out walking a dog.

If we could only have a facility…the one I’ve dreamed of for so many years…one unlike any other. If I could lay out my plans and actually make them prosper…build the dream.

There has to be a way. I can do this…surely, I can do this…?

I will keep trying to grow, trying to find support, assistance, volunteers…everything necessary to do in order to fulfill the dream and build the facility. I can’t drive myself under, nor wear myself out doing this, so that only means that I need to dedicate myself to progress and growth.

So, I’ll anxiously await hearing from other foundations, hopefully for their approval. I’m working on other fundraisers and new ideas. I’m bound to have one that will work. 😉

Thank you, everyone, for your commitment and support. Without your devotion I simply could not do this. You all keep me going.

God Bless.